Fallen Hero Memorial Hwy and Mother's Day

On Monday, April 28, Will and I went to the local American Legion Post to a dedication for two Fallen Hero Memorial Highway signs that will soon be placed nearby.  State Rep. Andy Olson, who has been working with Tyler's parents to develop the Hero Memorial Signs program, unveiled the signs honoring Marine Lance Cpl. Tyler Troyer of Albany and Army Spc. Eric McKinley of Philomath.

Andy Olson gave the background of each of these men. I can't get my video of his remarks about Tyler (my nephew), to upload here. (I did manage to upload it on my Facebook wall.) So I will quote the Albany Democrat Herald's story of Olson's remarks about Tyler. (The entire article can be read here.) 

"Olson said Troyer loved playing baseball and was a left-handed pitcher for the West Albany Bulldogs. He enlisted in the Marines soon after graduating from high school at the age of 18.  
“Tyler was 17 years old when he started talking about joining the Marines and when 9/11 happened, he knew he wanted to defend his country,” Olson said. “His parents gave him their love and support and signed the papers.”

Troyer was killed by an enemy sniper in Al Karmah, Iraq, in November 2005. He was just three months short of rotating home.

“He was a friend to everyone and had a great sense of humor,” Olson said. “He was always happy and always smiling.”

Although he considered going into law enforcement, it appeared he was going to attend culinary school after his tour of duty was over — his favorite dishes were Chinese.  

Troyer served with the 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marines and Golf Company."

After Olson's remarks, the signs were brought out. It was very moving to be reminded of the sacrifices these men and their families have made and then to see these signs. Olson then invited the parents to come forward and speak if they wished. Michael Thorpe showed a picture of himself and his son Michael (Tyler's brother) in front of a bridge in Massachusetts named in honor of one of Tyler's friends, Lance Cpl Shayne Cabino, who was also killed in action in Iraq.  He told how this inspired him to work on getting this highway memorial program in Oregon. 

Eric McKinley's parents (left), Tyler's parents Dave & Sandi Troyer (middle), and
Terri & Michael Thorpe (right)

Dave and Michael

 My brother Dave was unfortunately delayed in getting down from Sherwood and arrived just after the ceremony ended. He and Michael worked together on this project.

 It is so beautiful to see how their shared deep love of Tyler has unified his two sets of parents to work together and forge a closer relationship.

Dave and Terri

My brother Galen poses by the sign.

Will and Dave help carry the sign outside.

We stood around and visited for awhile afterwards, and when the lights went off, I thought maybe it was a hint that it was time to go. But no, power was off in much of Albany, which caused our journey across town to be fraught with peril due to dead stoplights. Fortunately the restaurant we had chosen had a generator and we were able to enjoy some great Mexican food with Dave, Sandi and McKenna, a rare treat since they live in Sherwood. His daughter Brittany and her husband joined in, as did our sisters Linda and Jean, Jean's children, Mom, Galen and Carol.

Linda, Brittany, Cody, Dave, Sandi, McKenna

After coming home, I noticed my favorite purple irises are blooming and went out to enjoy their beauty.

 We live next door to Michael and Terri and loved having Tyler and his sister Brittany grow up as our neighbors. I thought about these irises blooming at my house when Tyler was a kid next door. Though they have been divided and transplanted many times since, they bloom every spring, then go dormant through the winter, just as they always have. Though Tyler's life on earth ended and his family's lives were irrevocably changed forever, the cycle of life all around us continues. The sun continues to rise and set each day, just as it did when Tyler lived next door.

I took a sunset walk that evening, and thought about Tyler's short life, reminding myself to savor the beauty in each day.

I thought about Tyler's last visit home before he left for Iraq. I remembered how important it was for him to see his family, how he contacted his aunts and uncles and arranged visits to their homes.

I remembered him knocking on my door early one morning before he left from an earlier visit, wanting his Uncle Will to see him in his dress uniform.

Tears come when I realize the next and last time I saw him in the uniform, he would be lying still, looking like a stranger in a casket. So wrong.

I walk, and I think how precious our time is with the people we love. How thankful I am that Tyler lived next door. How I wish I would have gone to more of his baseball games. I wonder if he and my son Craig would have ended up in culinary school together. How fun it would be to hear them talk about food and cooking and chef careers. How grateful I am that my boys are all healthy and living nearby, that each of them is blessed with a wonderful woman in their life, that I not only have three boys but also three girls to nurture with a mother's love. (Although they are no longer boys and girls, but men and women.)

And now, nearly two weeks later, Mother's Day is approaching. I think about my mother, who went to heaven when I was 14. Mother's Day was a sad day for many years, becoming much happier after I became a mother at age 27. I can't even imagine the pain of mothers who have lost their children when Mother's Day comes around. 

So Mother's Day approaches. One of my sons has to work, two other sons are with girls who need to be with their own moms,  and Mother's Day is not all about me.  They offer to share their day between the moms, but really, it's not about that particular day, is it?  If I have a chance to be with all of them sometime this weekend, I am a happy woman. And if we manage to get all of us together at the same time, I am blessed indeed. The anticipation of the birth of our first grandchild, hopefully within the next week, adds an extra element of excitement to our time together.

None of us knows how many Mother's Days we will have with our children. I am grateful for each experience I get to share with them, and pray that God will extend his peace and comfort in a very special way to all the mothers who are missing their beloved children on Mother's Day.