World's Worst Texter

It's me, if you haven't already heard. Yes, I admit, I am the World's Worst Texter. I am tired of my family making fun of my text messages. After one particularly illegible text, Nick sent back "take the extra 30 seconds to check the message". I have finally abandoned my pride and tried to make my family understand that even when I do glance at the message, it often looks just fine to me because I can't see it very well if I'm not wearing reading glasses. That's another story. I can hardly read anything without them any more.

Last Saturday I was at my parent's house and Doug sent me a text asking how it was going. I was scrap booking and didn't really want to take much time to text back, so quickly I texted him back. Here's our exchange:

Me: Good. I an scrap cooking and dad jr mostly sleeping.

Doug: What is scrap cooking?

Me: Closely related to scrap booking lol.

Doug: I also didn't know dad was a jr

Me: can you believe that when you text is it defaults to jr. always substitute is for jr.

Doug: You are something.

And here's one I recently sent to Eric after he told me he did some cleaning at the house:

"You are my favorite. Want of to bring you floods at shell." (Did you know that when you put the letters for "dinner" in the text, it defaults to "floods"? And "me" always defaults to "of" And of course Eric works at the Shell gas station, shell was not a mistake.)

Then there was the Sunday when I was hanging out during second service when I was on worship team and Will had gone home. I sent him a text that I was stopping by the store after church and should I bring home a roast chicken. I couldn't figure out why he texted me back "I don't know how smart it has to be." How strange. Then I looked back at my sent message and sure enough, it said, "Shall I bring home a smart chicken?"

Then last weekend Nick sent me a text that he was invited over to a friend's house. As I was just looking over my Sent messages, I see that I texted back, "Are you spending tin might?" Apparently he understood I was asking if he was spending "the night". It's really annoying when they text me back "What???" instead of simply trying to figure out what I meant.

I was at at the store last week and Nick asked me to buy cheerios, I texted back, "What line of cheerimp do you want?" When he texted back "What?", I did not deign to reply. I just chose the kind of cheerios myself.

And then there was the time I thought I'd be polite and let Will know I would be late getting home because I was getting a hair cut. Who know the text would say that I was getting a hair but? I got home and Will told me my but cut looked good!

I am sick and tired of always having to press "next" when I want to say "home" and the phone says "good". If I ask, "When will you be good?" or say, "I'll be good soon", just know that "good" equals "home" on my phone.

In fact, I'm tired of pressing "next" for all those common words. Nick and Will tell me that if I always pressed "next" the phone would recognize and default to those words. I insist I press "next" all the time but my phone is just too dumb to figure it out. I don't have time to keep correcting my phone, so here is my texting glossary. I am putting everyone on notice that if you receive a text from me, I will not correct it if the following words default incorrectly.

an might mean am

floods probably means dinner

good probably means home

jr always means is

line might mean kind

of often means me

smart might mean roast

See how easy it is! There might be more, just use your common sense and we will communicate just fine!

LCpl. Tyler John Troyer

I didn't know what to say on this third anniversary of the day Tyler was taken from us by a sniper's bullet in Iraq. But I just received a text from his sister Brittany with this picture on it and this message:

"It has now been three years since Tyler left us. Today is a day of remembering. If you are thankful for your freedom, pass this along so that everyone remembers this fallen hero on this special day! He is never gone unless forgotten. You are missed by so many, LCpl Tyler John Troyer! "

Well put, Brittany. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers today. May God's peace and healing touch surround you and your family.

I am remembering happy times, such as the one below showing Tyler and his cousin Craig with their short Uncle John at Grandpa's house.

Vancouver Weekend

When I received word a week ago Saturday that my nephew Nathan was going from his home in Whitehorse down to Vancouver, BC to have surgery, I assumed my only involvement would be to pray for him.

My brother Galen (an excellent brother and fantastic uncle) called us a few days later and asked if we'd like to accompany him and Carol up to Vancouver this weekend to visit Nathan and his wife Mary. It sounded like a good idea, so we all took off in Galen's car Friday morning.

Galen and Carol wanted to stop at a tropical place for lunch where they had eaten before. They couldn't remember the name of it, something like Jamaica Joes or Bahama Mamas. We were very fortunate to find Bahama Breezes surrounded by palm trees at the mall in Tukwila near Seattle. It was right near a Cheesecake Factory, but a car had just plowed through a window at the Cheesecake Factory! Bahama Breezes was fabulous (coconut shrimp!!) and kicked off a weekend of eating at great restaurants.

Traffic was pretty heavy when we got into Vancouver, and things got a little tense in the car with Will the Navigator and Galen the Driver cruising the unfamiliar dark city streets. Galen, of course, maintained his sweet even temper in the midst of a trial, as Troyers always do.

St. Paul's Hospital, which celebrated its 100th anniversary in 1994, is in the middle of the multitude of high rise buildings downtown. Nathan was in a newer wing, and it was quite a walk from the entrance across from our hotel to his side of the building. Much to our relief there was a blue line (complete with arrows!) on the floor that we could follow all the way to the elevator, which took us to his 10th floor room. Carol and I soon learned to hold back and follow Will and Galen when the elevator stopped so we wouldn't continue to be embarrassed when we foolishly headed the wrong way!

We finally got to see Nathan, who was fortunate to have the window side of the room he was sharing with an elderly man who occasionally emitted alarming wheezing, hacking noises. Despite having major surgery several days earlier and experiencing a great deal of pain and suffering before and after the surgery, Nathan was his cheerful, optimistic self, expecting to be released Saturday morning. Although I've seen him look better, with his rugged Troyer good looks he was handsome even in his hospital gown.

His dinner tray arrived so we left him to eat in peace while we checked into the Sheraton Hotel across the street and enjoyed the thrill of looking out the walls of windows from our room on the 22nd floor. We roamed the street checking out the many restaurants, and thought a light meal at a French cafe might be good after our heavy lunch. Bitter disappointment. The cauliflower and mushroom soups were both flavorless purees, and the bread was not even close to what good French bread should be. We went back to visit Nathan and Mary again before retiring to our lovely rooms.

The next morning the men went out and brought Tim Hortons donuts (which Nathan and Steven have talked up for years) back to our rooms. We enjoyed the complimentary morning paper with our donuts and the Starbucks coffee provided for our in-room brewing, while we continued to monitor the city's activities from our high perch. When we reached the hospital, Nathan was still waiting for the doctor's visit, and hadn't experienced the best night. He had received some food for dinner that was not on his diet. (Oops, food service error I guess.) When the doctor finally got there, we left for lunch. A hospital employee saw us looking out the window and pointed out the best restaurants on Davie Street, which she said was the place to get good food at a good price. We had a huge lunch at the Greek restaurant she recommended, Stephanos. I had Mousaka for the first time. It was good, and I loved the salad. The men had rack of lamb, a huge plate of food which neither of them could finish.

You see many interesting things when you walk the streets. I thought my boys would enjoy this sign.

When we got back to the hospital, Nathan had medical personel in his room and we were told we couldn't see him for a couple of hours. So we went back to the streets, walked down to the waterfront and took a little ferry over to Granville Island and did a little shopping. We were very good at just looking and not buying.

Nathan survived all the medical procedures of the afternoon, and we hung around and watched him enjoy his sumptuous dinner of broth, jello and two kinds of juice! Realizing what a blessed privilege it is to have a digestive system working properly, we went out for another good meal at a pizza/pasta place where there was live jazz music. That's another story. I texted some of Will's comments to my boys, and they texted back that they had enjoyed a "hearty laugh". But I fear his remarks may not be appropriate for some of my gentle readers.

Another visit to the hospital, where Nathan and Mary were pleased with how things were progressing and hopeful of release the next morning, and we returned to our exciting rooms overlooking the city lights.

The next morning we learned Nathan's night had been rough but things were looking up. He had been enjoying Chuck Swindoll on the luxurious TV set that Canadian health care provides their guests!
We country folk were enthralled with watching two men getting ready to board a "suspended stage" to do some work on a high rise. First we looked down on them from our hotel as they made preparations on the rooftop for whatever their task was, then from the hospital as we saw them rising up the side of the building. This is Galen looking out the window from the hospital room. They are almost a third of the way up the building on the left, just under the white line.

I zoomed in on this picture from our room when we went back to check out. Scary stuff!

Too soon we were back in the car navigating our way back to the USA. We enjoyed a late lunch at the Cheesecake Factory at the same mall where we ate on our way up. We took a scenic route back to I-5. Did you know there was a Des Moines, Washington? Carol and I were very patient and supportive of our navigator and driver.

I spoke to Nathan and Mary on the phone this evening and learned that Nathan was released yesterday but readmitted when he experienced more problems. But he got to leave for a couple hours today and is hopefully improving.

I cannot imagine how difficult this whole ordeal of years of illness, doctor visits, and now surgery with its accompanying complications has been for Nathan and Mary. They miss their four sweet children so much and are so thankful that John and Betsy (Nathan's parents) are taking care of them. They mentioned how grateful and humbled they are by the prayer and support they have received. The strength and grace they display in the midst of all this is truly amazing, and is a great testimony to the God they serve as well as the prayers of their family and friends. They are really good at finding the humor in the midst of the pain as well!

So join your prayers to ours, that he will be well enough to return home very soon to enjoy a less complicated recovery there with his family.

The Three Chicks Part II

If you have never been to the Cheesecake Factory, you need to be sure you go there at least once in your lifetime. Be sure you have plenty of time, because everybody in the world apparently wants to go there and is willing to wait for a seat. We thought with a late lunch (after 2:00) we wouldn't have to wait long, but it was nearly an hour. However, you can go shopping in the mall while you're waiting.

You also need to be sure to bring reading glasses. The menu is many pages long, and Mim was concerned about my squinting. (I left my new reading glasses in the car, unfortunately.) I ordered Shepherds Pie, and it was fabulous. The cheesecake decision was extremely difficult. We each ordered a different kind. Mim's was white chocolate raspberry, Becky's was a chocolate fudge brownie concoction, and mine was a white chocolate macadamia nut caramel creation. We tasted them all, and it was unanimous - the white chocolate raspberry was the best. But they were all delicious.

We had a lovely young waitress who shared her father's 50th birthday midlife crisis experiences with us (he bought a BMW and got really buff from working out). She brought us our cheesecake on decorated plates with candles burning.

After we stuffed ourselves, we did some more shopping. Didn't find quite the bargains we found earlier in the day.

As we headed home, Mim thought Marge should join us. I think Becky was tired of Marge bossing us around and she wanted to be in charge for awhile, so she just pretended to be Marge and directed Mim home!

Mim was very responsible at protecting Marge all day. From the parking lot at breakfast to the high class Lake Oswego garage sale to Becky's driveway when we returned in the evening, she faithfully concealed Marge's existence by casually draping her jacket over the dash every time we left the car. She told us that those navigation systems are the number one reason that cars get broken in to. I'm confident that no desperate thieving car burglar will ever guess that the black jacket is hiding such a desirable item!

As we drove through the beautiful countryside and city that day, we commented many times abut the beautiful reds, yellows, and oranges of the fall foliage. Reflecting on that, I realized that we are entering the autumn of our life. Spring and summer are over. The fiery colors of the mature foliage put to shame the dull green of spring and summer. We are heading into the most beautiful time of our lives! We are more interesting, more intelligent, and funnier that we have ever been. Our hair color may be enhanced to a hue different than it was 32 years ago, and someday we will have to decide when to allow it to return to its natural shade, which now includes touches of silver. (Perhaps we can postpone that decision until winter.) We look pretty good for women our age, but we are well aware that true beauty comes from within. We are blessed with excellent husbands who have survived and thrived with us, and now we get to enjoy the wisdom and stability that comes with this season. Mim pointed out that we need to spend time doing things that bring us fulfillment (and it's ok if cooking isn't one of them.) We know that God, family, friends and laughter are the basic ingredients to life.

Is my mid-life crisis about to hit?

The Three Chicks Celebrate 50 years!

Yesterday, after several months of planning and anticipation, I spent the day in Portland with two of my best chums from Lebanon High school, Mim and Becky, to celebrate our upcoming momentous golden birthdays. Half the fun was the emails we were exchanging in the months before the big day. Mim had quite a vision for the day. At one point it included such things as facial waxing, pedicures, and massages. But practicality won out. As she put it, "Last time I heard of someone getting a massage, they ended up in the hospital from it. Besides, what do you have to show for it after you've spent all that money? (Once a Mennonite, always a Mennonite!) At least when I buy a new outfit, I'm still wearing it ten years later! Horrible, isn't it?" Yes, indeed, I truly identify with her sentiments!

She was full of great ideas. Years ago, she wrote, she had so much fun garage sailing with some friends in Lake Oswego where things were up-scale and cheap. Becky and I loved the idea of a garage sail cruise. As Becky put it, "Wow, I was just thinking we may have hit on something - I haven't seen garage "sail" cruises advertised - maybe we can start a new business!! We'll call it the BML (Becky, Mim, LeAnn or Broad (or Bra) Minded Ladies - you choose) Cruise Line!!"

We met at 6:45 am yesterday at the Yaquina for breakfast. Becky had elaborate gift bags for us with all the accessories and inspirational items ladies our age need (at least everything she could find at the Dollar Tree and Avon samples), such as funky reading glasses, eye masks, wrinkle cream samples, lotions, bladder control liners, glucosamine, weekly medicine containers, and for Mim, a primary spelling workbook! Here we are with our new reading glasses and the loot.

Becky outdid herself with personal gifts for each of us. Below is Mim's gift, with our high school selves peeking out the portholes! She gave me a little stand with our senior name cards. You can glimpse the top of it in front of my gift bag above.Breakfast was great, but I began to fear we would never get out of Albany. Mim's meal ticket somehow got lost, (I can't imagine how with all the goodies on our table), so they had to get her another one. We headed down the road to an ATM for me, but I couldn't find my debit card when we got there. Mim had a phone book in her car!!! So I was able to call the restaurant immediately and sure enough, my debit card was there.

We finally got out of town and with the help of Mim's on-line navigation system, "Marge", we found all three garage sails that were being held in Lake Oswego that day. (November is not exactly the season for garage sail cruising!) We gave Marge quite a workout. She very patiently said, "Recalculating" every time we missed a turn.

We thought it was quite fortuitous that the last garage sale had the following sign. We asked one of the three chicks to take our picture. Fortunately, after she took the first one, she realized she had failed to get the sign in it so she took another one! I paid a dollar for that nice new duffle bag.

Two of the garage sales were upscale and one was a Sweet Home style. We had good reason to miss it the first time we drove by. There was no sign, but a U-Haul truck was in the driveway. The sale was in the nearly empty living room, and the woman of the house was cleaning out kitchen cupboards and hauling stuff in there. There were boxes full of random items. Mim was going through it, and every time she asked the teen age son how much for something, he said either 50 cents or a dollar. She got some cheap stuff. I realized I really don't like digging through jumbled boxes. I want things to be lying neatly on a table so I can see what it is without touching it.

At the first sale, the woman saw Mim looking at a very ugly teapot (She recognized the label as being expensive). It was kind of flat and shaped somewhat like a mouse. The woman said she has no idea why she paid $65 for it, she was in a tourist moment. She sold it to Mim for $4. Mim got some expensive trinkiets for very cheap. She resells things, so she was quite pleased with her bargains.

Next we hunted down a Goodwill, and believe me, we had to hunt, even with Marge helping us. Marge gave us an address for a Goodwill Outlet, but there was nothing there but a park in a residential neighborhood. We all found more treasures when Goodwill was finally located and worked up quite an appetite for the Cheesecake Factory at the Washington Square shopping mall, where we headed for a late lunch. I will blog that later. I am waiting for one of my chums to send me pictures. They both have sleek little cameras that fit in their purses; mine does not.

In closing, I will pontificate that mixing up shopping for old and new was an appropriately symbolic celebration as we commemorated our old lives and prepared to commence on a new half century. I am very blessed to have such friends, and am pretty annoyed when I think of all the laughs and good times that I have missed out on because I spent very little time with them the past 30 years!

One thing down, one to go

On Saturday morning, Will and I did some separate errands then met to go out to lunch. First of all he had a fit about how long it took me to get from the library to GI Joes. (I wanted to make sure the interior of my car looked really good before he joined me.) Then as we headed down the street to Red Robin, it started raining. I turned my wipers on. I was about to turn in the parking lot when Will loudly ordered me not to turn and started exclaiming over and over, "Oh my gosh." An argument ensued because I felt I needed to turn there, but he seemed incapable of coherent speech.

We had a bit of commotion in the car for awhile until I realized his state of shock and horror was due to the sight of my windshield wipers. Half of the one on the right side had split away and was flopping merrily behind the actual wiper. In my defense, I tried to take care of it awhile back. I was at the Shell station and I asked Eric if I could buy them there. He said yes, but it would cost me over $20! I declined. I asked Nick to come by after school some day and take care of it for me but he never got around to it. I don't think a princess should have to deal with mundane things like that. Somebody should just take care of it for me.

We pulled up to Knechts, went in, and Will asked the young man there to show me how easy it is to get new wiper blades. This wonderful young man had them replaced in no time at all for $8.95!!! Wow!

After lunch we went out to a couple of furniture stores. I need a new footstool or ottoman. Until recently, I had a cute little footstool but frequent use by too many great big heavy man feet caused the cute little legs to give way awhile back. I like to put my feet up when I sit down to read. We walked into a furniture store and Will told me if I didn't go tell a salesperson what I was looking for, he would announce what I was currently resting my feet on. It was only the previous night that I had come up with this wonderful idea. We had just purchased a brand new huge package of toilet paper. I took possession of it, covered it up with the beautiful denim comforter from my family room, and had an extremely comfortable (and attractive) footstool. Tacky? Maybe, especially now that some toilet paper rolls have been removed from it and it's sagging a little on one side.

Where is a good place to buy an ottoman? I'm thinking maybe a black leather one with storage. Just not a great big one. In the meantime, maybe I'll go buy another big package of toilet paper. If I pin the edges of the blanket together, maybe tie a big bow around it, I might win an award on a design show or something. Is that what they call cheap chic?