I'm Perfectly Normal. Ain't I?!

Costco was so crowded today. They were also offering lots of delicious samples including shrimp scampi, breakfast burritos, quiche, and salmon. Nick called me to relay that his father said I should get ice cream (which strangely Will does not confirm). I had just eaten a pizza sample and it was not wanting to go all the way down. I told Nick I was probably going need to go over to the soda aisle and sneak a soda to get it down. Fortunately, I was able to get it swallowed without resorting to that.

I had a cart full of items and was heading out of the store when my dear friend called. It's really difficult to maneuver a full shopping cart while holding a cell phone to your ear. The check-out guy at the door turned his back and stepped in front of me, to test my reflexes I presume. I skillfully but narrowly avoided him and gave my full attention to the phone call as we discussed what food should be served on New Year's Eve. I traversed the crowded parking lot, scanning all the gray cars that look just like my Camry, but not spotting it. (I think I'll get a big purple car next time.) We couldn't come to any conclusion about food, and I couldn't come to any conclusion about where my car was.

I finally confessed to my friend that I should probably call her later because I needed to devote my attention to finding my car. (Why did I admit this to her?) For some reason she brought up the last time we ran into each other at the store. I had stepped away from my cart to speak to my niece Brianna and her new fiance, bringing my purse with me. When I returned to my cart, I put my purse in it and was about to push it away when the person who was using it indicated she wanted it back. Oops, wrong cart, and unfortunately my friend with the elephant memory witnessed it. I had forgotten all about it. Doesn't everyone do things like that? Of course they do.

So, back to the Costco parking lot. I got off the phone, moved one lane over and stopped to reconnoiter. I noticed a woman waving at me and realized I was blocking an empty parking spot that someone wanted to utilize. How embarrassing. Just before I completely panicked, speculating that my car had probably been stolen, I remembered exactly where I had parked it and found it! How could I have forgotten such a close parking spot on a busy day at Costco! It was just too close, that was the problem! And certainly I would have remembered had I not been so distracted by the weighty discussion of what food was worthy of our New Year's Eve celebration!

At dinner, my husband wanted to know what the deal was about me sneaking a soda at Costco. I had to explain that I certainly wasn't talking about stealing a soda. Once when I got a food sample stuck in my throat, I had to get a case of soda (which I purchased on my way out), go way to the back aisle and covertly drink one. Obviously you don't want to do something like this in the middle of the produce section, thus I mentioned "sneaking" it. From there I shared the above Costco happenings with him and two sons. They reacted like I was an airhead or something. I also mentioned to Nick that his requested Cinnamon Toast Crunch (he wrote "sugary unhealthy cereal" on my grocery list) actually had less sugar than his father's Frosted Mini Wheats, however the Mini Wheats have more fiber.

The men in this family then verbalized their vision of me spending all afternoon wandering around the Costco parking lot, talking on my phone, blocking parking spaces, and comparing nutritional information on the food items in my cart. Their speculations about my unsupervised activities degenerated from there. Why must they pick on me like this? I am so misunderstood! Nick then "twittered" something about needing to hire a camera man to follow his mom around to document all her shenanigans. Ha!

But I must be doing something right. The cupboards and fridge are full of food and I provided my family with some delicious homemade chicken noodle soup and biscuits for dinner. The laundry is done, the house is respectably clean, and I believe beyond a reasonable doubt that I am one of the most normal people I know. I insist.

Winter Break Begins

And what a break it will be! My office partner and I stayed a couple hours late Friday stripping down the office, moving everything into the conference rooms. The crews start work on Monday morning, and we should come back to an office with new built-in workstations in two weeks. Of course, that means we'll get to come in the weekend before school resumes to move all our stuff back in. But in the meantime, we can't really work there, so we finally have an excuse to use some of that comp time we've built up!

The last week of school was fun but everyone is so ready for a break. I am still fuming about the mooning incident that took place last Friday. For at least 20 minutes, from the time the last bell rang until the last bus left, two 18-year-olds stood in the large window of the second story apartment across the street and repeatedly bent over and mooned the crowds below. I was about to call 911 to report an out-of-control parent chasing and screaming at a child on the side of the school when I heard someone in the office say, "He's flashing us again!" I looked out the window and sure enough, there it was. So I reported both incidents.

A police officer eventually made contact with the mooners, who admitted to doing it but supposedly didn't realize that everyone in the crowded parking lot and all the buses were watching. They were only mooning a friend of theirs and they were very apologetic and embarrassed. Yeah right. But according to the nice policeman, no crime was committed. Ok folks, go ahead and moon crowds of parents and children across the street from a school. It's perfectly all right in Albany, Oregon.

Anyway, I am thrilled to have the next week off, because I have a Christmas letter to finish and get out, my final shopping to do, all the gifts to wrap, some baking to do, and various other miscellaneous and sundry items on the "To Do" list which I am about to make!

I had a delightful surprise when Anise and Venisa came over last night. We made cut- out Christmas cookies together. How lovely to spend time with a grown up niece who is so beautiful inside and out. (And her mother too of course. Except she said I was bossy sometimes.) Oh well, I guess it's true!

I wonder how many people out there are all ready for Christmas and have no preparations remaining? I suspect I may be behind the average 50-something-year-old matron in my readiness...but the preparations are half the fun! Merry Christmas!

"My First 4.0!"

The either greatly dreaded or anticipated "progress reports", formerly known as "report cards", were passed out to students during their last period class today. After school, sixth grade teacher Mr. J came to the office and shared this story. One of his favorite students raised his hand after looking over the Progress Report and said, "I have a 4.0. That's really good, isn't it!" Mr. J recalled that he had given this child a C, so he asked the student to show it to him. After looking at it, Mr. J was sorry but greatly amused to tell the student, "You do indeed, have 4.0 in absences!”

Good Will, Bad Will

I love a Saturday morning when there is nothing urgent on the agenda, just a day to get up whenever you wake up, drink coffee, read the paper, and dilly dally on the computer before you start the day's chores. The urgency of the seasonal to-do list hasn't taken over me just yet, so yesterday I was slothfully enjoying the morning until around 11:00. Will put some laundry in the washer and I commented how kind he was to get it started. I also took it as a hint to get busy, since of course he had been productive already for several hours.

My pleasure at his helpfulness lasted until I transferred his laundry to the dryer. To my horror, I beheld a flannel sheet that had been in the RV dog crate, mixed with kitchen towels as well as Will's clothes! Whites and darks were mixed as well, but that was a minor side issue compared to a dog item mixed with kitchen towels! I calmly, tactfully mentioned this faux pas to him. (It goes without saying, the kitchen towels got rewashed.)

Soon he came in to get my car key to put a can of de-icer in my car to help me out on the busy mornings when he is unable to go out and warm up my car for me. A few minutes later he brought me a cutting board that he had repaired for me.

In amazement I inquired, "How can you be both so bad and so good at the same time?!!"

And so it is. Since then I'm afraid it has become very easy for me to label the things he does and says. "Good Will." "Bad Will." If he calls me psycho or wacko for my feelings about dog germs, "Bad Will". Of course, Good Will is far more dominant than Bad Will. I observe myself also having these two sides. In fact, everyone does. The best thing is that both the Bad Will and the Good Will make me laugh. Frequently. Loudly.