The "Last" Supper?

Before dinner tonight, Nick told me that the apartment could possibly be available to move into as early as tomorrow. I think the plan is to move this weekend.

Knowing that his days of living here are numbered,  I made a lovely dinner tonight. Steak, garlic mashed potatoes, broccoli with cheese sauce. And of course, salad while he and his dad were watching TV while I cooked dinner, because otherwise the salad sits untouched at the meal.

Twenty years ago, Will and I were about to purchase our first home. We moved into it just two months before Nick was born. Knowing that he would be my last baby, I spent a lot of time in the rocking chair, reluctant to put him down. Such a cute little boy with that curly blond hair and blue eyes! We called him our "lap boy" for years because he much preferred our laps to chairs!

How trite it is to say, "Where did the last 20 years go?!" Nick has always been eager to learn and do and go, especially with two big brothers leading the way.  I love the memory of holding his little hand as we walked across the church parking lot, with him skipping along, so excited to go to his class. I said, "Oh, Nick, you are so cute." He said, "I know, and I'm fun to be with too!" (His father sometimes sent children to their rooms until they could be cute and fun to be with!)

Soon my baby is moving out into an apartment with two friends. He has a full time job that he loves, providing IT support for a company that seems to appreciate him and is willing to invest in his training and education. There are even women there who mother him! I talked to one last week and she told me they all love Nick.  Obviously that warmed my heart! He regularly drives the big company Hummer through Portland traffic to take care of business in other branches. The first time, this mama was amazed that they would trust a 19-year-old with that, but I took comfort in remembering that this is a kid whose dad had him driving a big pickup pulling a 34-foot fifth wheel in more than one crazy place during the past few years.

Fortunately, the transition from dependence to independence happens gradually, with lots of little milestones along the way. My boys have been doing their own laundry and making their own lunches for many years....so why is it that I suddenly am wanting to make a lunch for Nick to take to work? Why is there an empty place in my heart as I realize my days of active mothering are over?

Thankfully, I know that God loves my boys more than I possibly could, and He actively pursues a loving relationship with them even more than I do. One of my many prayers for my boys is that they always remember and act on the words they all memorized in their Wednesday night Caravans classes: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

The empty nest is not just a future event...Oh God, please help me to be ready!