Remembering my Dad

Four years ago today, my brothers and sisters were gathered together at my parents' home, knowing that my dad was not long for this world. I remember sitting next to my sister Linda in the bedroom where my dad was in a bed that hospice had recently provided for him. As his breath grew shallower, I marveled at the beautiful harmony and words of the hymns that our family sang together in the bedroom, and at how Linda's sweet off-tune warblings made it even more lovely. That evening when we took a break to enjoy some ice cream in his honor, someone came out of the bedroom urging us to get back in there because the end was near.  We, his family who loved him so much, gathered close together around his bedside and talked to our Heavenly Father who was about to receive him as Dad took his final breaths.

I've been thinking about my dad a lot the past week, not only because I knew this date was coming up, but just because so many things in life remind me of him. Like when my sister-in-law said in a startled voice (apparently thinking I must have an injury!), "Why is your thumb so fat?"  I showed her that my thumb is quite similar to my brother Doug's, and advised her that we got our short, thick fingers from our father!

I've spent this morning looking at old pictures of family on my laptop, and also looking at old blogs because I thought I had written more details about the day dad passed, but apparently I didn't.  I have one with the letter I wrote for his funeral. I also found one after he'd been hospitalized in 2008 and his personality had already changed quite a bit that made me laugh, Dad is Home.

Anyway, I have to share a few of my favorite pictures of him. I love this one from back in about 1967 with little brothers Doug and Dave.

 And here he is a few years later, showing some love to Doug!

 Love this action shot, playing softball as Doug slides in.

Since Dad spent the last few years of his life doing a lot of quiet sitting, his memories and personality robbed from him by Alzheimers, I love seeing these pictures of him to remind us of how active and involved in life he was before his illness changed him. He used to put a ping pong net on the dining room table before he got a real ping pong table!

 And how sweet is this, encouraging bashful little MariJean just before walking down the aisle on her big sister on Hope's wedding day.

 Nathan and Steve, remember this?!

Dad got this bike for Linda many years ago as she couldn't balance a two-wheeler. It was great fun to give rides to small children (Brianna here)!

 Dad "helped" the grandkids climb a tree in his front yard…Brianna, Jenna, Craig and Tyler.

 There are so many pictures of Dad reading to his grandchildren! (Duane and Venisa)

Surrounded by his grandkids and greats who attended his 75th birthday in 2002.

When someone has been working on a car and I smell grease/oil, I think of Dad.

 Often when playing games, I think of Dad, especially Dominoes/Mexican Train. This is one of the few pictures I have of myself next to Dad. I have a blurry one of us on his 75th birthday, so if any family has a good one of that, I'd love if you shared!

 How many times was Dad in the kitchen carving the roast for Sunday dinners?

 He left a legacy of so many beautiful quilts, including the one on my own bed,  when he took up sewing quilt tops after retiring from his shop.

There were times in my life when I expected my dad to be angry or upset with me, including this story I've told so often that happened when I was a teenager and got my car high-centered on some railroad tracks in Lebanon late one night.  When I called from the police station after 11 pm and tearfully asked if we had towing insurance, did he get cranky? No, he got out of bed, drove his pickup down, grinning and asking if I thought I was a train before he hooked me up and pulled me out, with nary a critical word to me about my stupidity. I see my Dad's sense of humor and his kind, gentle spirit in my brothers and my Uncle Cloy, and I feel my dad's love through them.

I have pictures of my dad's hands doing so many things, playing football on the beach, holding babies, playing games and checkers with children and family, playing horseshoes, doing a headstand right along side a young Craig, making a snowman, touching those he loved.

I love this picture as he says good-bye to his great-grandchildren, those big square hands reaching out in love as his grandson Steve and family leave for their home in Canada. How we want to cling to those we love, and how hard it is to say goodbye. We will always treasure the great memories of this loving man, and know with joy that we will join him in our heavenly home someday. 

And I leave you with his own words,  transcribed from a CD recording of his spiritual journey shared at Fairview Mennonite Church on April 20, 1986, 

"The Lord’s been awful good to me. I want to thank him for it and I want to be faithful in the time that God gives to me to carry out the work that he has for me. I don’t know, if God gives me a few more years what they’ll be, but I know I can trust him. I know he won’t fail me. And I hope I never question God’s word or question his actions in my life, but to say, "Lord if this is what you want then I ‘m willing to do it. I’m willing to be what you want me to be." Thank you.

P.S. After I wrote this, Will and I went down to the bay front here in Newport and had some ice cream. Here's to you, Dad!