Sacramento Patients

Summertime. Have you ever spent six weeks of your summer in a hospital at the side of your child, a five hour drive away from the rest of your family? That's the summer my niece Jewel is having. Her six-year-old daughter Heidi, who has had long-term ongoing issues with her colon and digestive system, went to the hospital with salmonella poisoning in June 13. After enduring much pain and many complications, she was finally released on July 15, just in time for the entire family to enjoy a great day together in Sacramento at the State Fair before her 12-year-old brother Victor was admitted to the hospital for a scheduled surgery to reverse a colostomy the next day. 

During this time, as I read Jewel's Care Pages and Facebook updates, I wanted so badly to go to Sacramento and spend some time with them. To know Heidi is to love her. In spite of all she has suffered, she is a high-spirited, energetic, loving little girl. Her parents are pretty amazing too! Here's a couple updates from Jewel's FB and Carepages while Heidi was in the hospital:

"Music Therapy came again...Heidi wanted to sing "Hakuna matata"...loudly and over and over and over again! "It means no worries...for the rest of your days!" :)

"Heidi said this morning, "I have some worries, mom. What if I miss my first day of second grade?"

"I have been listening a lot to Nick Vujicic lately. He has such a good perspective on life. He says, "We are blessed when we are in a circumstance where God has our attention." I've been thinking about that one. There's nothing like trouble and pain to keep us constantly looking to God...so it turns out that God uses for our good what the world would call evil. So we really are blessed."

I mentioned my desire to visit my dear niece and her family to Will, thinking a vacation to a hospital might not be at the top of his list, but he immediately got on board. We decided to spend one less week at the Metolius on our upcoming vacation and take a trip to California instead, visiting the hospital, taking a slight detour to Lake Tahoe on our way north to visit Canby, CA where Jewel and her sister Faith's families live, and then an overnight stop at Crater Lake. 

So last Friday, we showed up at the hospital there, a day after Victor's surgery. Our arrival coincided with his first attempt to get out of bed into a chair, and it was a heartbreaking thing to witness. The day after your stomach has been cut open and you have tubes connected to you all over the place...getting out of bed hurts, to put it mildly. He wasn't the only one shedding some quiet tears. Here's my brother John holding his hand after he's back in bed. 

Victor needed rest, so his dad Steven and grandpa John stayed with him. Heidi was more than willing to stay with Great-Uncle Will while we ladies went birthday shopping for Jewel's oldest daughter's upcoming 14th birthday. As we left the living room of the Sharing House where they stay, Heidi leaped off the couch to Will's chair and said, "Tell me a story about Zeek!" I took this picture when we came back.

While we were out, they made some paper airplanes, which did not meet Will's expectations. We did some shopping before we came back the next day and he made a few purchases. When we sat down with Heidi later, she was puzzled about the bamboo skewers. "What are these?"

"Toothpicks, of course," was trustworthy Uncle Will's reply.

 "Really?! I don't ever have anything that big in my teeth!"

 The scissors were too small for Will, so he assigned Heidi to cut some paper strips. When he asked her to guess what they would be used for, she brightened. "Are we making halos? I really like halos!"  They were actually for a special airplane, but she got her halo anyway!

She also got a crown!

 Jewel stayed pretty close to Victor's side in the hospital, but Grandma Betsy stayed with him one evening while we went out to dinner. When Heidi got the crayons from the waitress, she immediately had to move over beside Uncle Will, because she just knew he would want to color with her. "Which page shall we color? Which color do you want?"

 John and Steven drove up to Canby on Saturday, and it was decided that Heidi's 8-year-old sister Emme would return with John on Sunday. Heidi was so excited! Here she is as they are pulling in the parking lot.

 She ran to the car and they hugged...

 and hugged some more...

Then they danced...

 and danced some more....

 and talked....

 and hugged some more...

 and danced some more! This was less than a week after they had last seen each other!

It was truly beautiful to see these little girls reunited.

Victor was sleeping when it was time for us to go, but here we are.

Victor is a trooper, and puts up with so much. He really hates the NG tube which goes in his nose and down his throat and thought it would be out by now.

His grandma Betsy posted this picture with the following update yesterday:

"Two strong soldiers, because of an inner Man that keeps them going beyond their own strength. No the NG tube did not get removed. Things are not moving through the body, so we keep praying for a miracle"

.

So how much more of this summer will Jewel spend in the hospital by her children's side, feeling their pain, advocating for them, praying.....(and Facebooking!) while they sleep? Though Heidi is not a patient, she needs to stay with Jewel because of the level of care that she needs. John and Betsy have returned home. Steven comes as often as he can, and her sister Faith plans to spend time with her next week also. There is so much love in that hospital room and so much faith and confidence in the goodness of God. It is just an amazing thing to witness the grace of God in the people who trust Him.

Please pray with us for healing for Victor, that the NG tube can come out soon and that the reversal will be a success, and for healing for Heidi as well. Pray for Jewel and Steven, amazing parents of five beautiful children. And remember the rest of the children, Emme, April, and Betsy, who have been home without their mother these past six weeks. 

And another quote from Jewel's FB: "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow..."

Many years ago, I went through bouts of being upset with God for taking my mother when I was in 8th grade and asking "Why?" At one point, I felt Him asking me, "Do you trust me?" Well, yes, I trust God. "If you really trust me, then you don't need to know why. Just trust." I think of that again as I wonder why these sweet children and this entire family have suffer so much. And I trust that the God who gave life to them, who put them on this earth to be a blessing to others, is fulfilling his purpose. I am once again thankful that this life is temporary and that we are living with eternity in mind..

Hope and Healing: 6 months

Friday, July 12, marked six months since the day I rushed to the hospital after getting the phone call that my sister Hope had fallen and broken her neck.  This is a much better place to be. Though her recovery has seemed slow, it has been amazing to watch her regain so many abilities and movements, and to see her unwavering commitment to thank God for her blessings and to choose joy every day.

At her son's baseball game last week, Hope and I were talking about the good things that have come out of this experience.   I hate it that she has endured so much pain and suffering, but I am so grateful for the precious gift of the renewed relationship with my sister and her beautiful, loving family that this ordeal facilitated.

About 20 years ago, a wall went up between us, not of our own choosing but beyond our control. For awhile, I fought to tear it down, but in the middle of a sleepless night as I was praying about it, I understood God was telling me that I had to forgive those I held responsible and let go for a time. I mourned the loss of this relationship almost as if it were a death, but clung to the hope that someday God would change the situation. Eventually, a door in this wall was unlocked and I occasionally opened it and went for a visit.  In recent years, the door was slightly ajar, but I didn't pass through it as often as I  could have. It seemed like we were too different, too many years had passed and so many changes had occurred - and I had to protect myself in case the door slammed shut again. But when Hope took that life-changing fall, it shattered the wall around my heart, and I couldn't scramble over it fast enough.

As I hurried to the hospital that day, not knowing if my little sister would survive or be paralyzed, my heart was broken to think of how little time I had spent with her during the past 20 years and how little love I had showed to  her and her family.

In spite of all that she has endured since then, it has been so much fun really getting to know her again, to see the wonderful mother she is (to nine terrific children!), to talk and laugh and learn again how much we have in common (such as a passion for purple and an extreme antipathy for outhouses),  and to realize what amazing woman of God she has become. When I observe how she manages her children, her home, and her life, it's hard to believe I once saw her as my hopelessly flighty little sister, aptly nicknamed "Hope Dope Cantalope"!

Hope constantly inspires me to be a better friend, to love God more, to be thankful, to put others first, and to look at life through an eternal perspective. When I go out to walk or run, I am so aware of the blessing of a strong, uninjured body, and I thank God for the strength and health that I enjoy and pray that she will experience it as well.

I still wear the purple "Pray for Hope" bracelet that I got at the beginning of this ordeal.  Please pray with me that God's healing touch will continue to bless her life. I pray that by the time the one year anniversary comes, the numbness and tingling in both her hands will be completely eliminated, that the pain in her neck that so often plagues her will be gone, that her strength and stamina will be restored, and that she will continue to bless and inspire others.

And I thank God that I am privileged to see Jesus in my sister, and that I long to be more like Him because of her.

"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

P.S. I'm watching for the leather jackets to come out so we can go shopping!

Really I'm not a Loser!

So we all know that some people lose things more than others. I feel I have a somewhat undeserved reputation. I rarely lose something permanently, I just temporarily misplace items. I can't even tell you how many times Will has said, "If you always put something in the same place, you'll know where to find it." In spite of that annoying and repetitive advice, my keys just don't  always make it to the peg where they are supposed to hang. They end up on top of the fridge, or in my purse, or on my dresser, or in the pocket of the last jacket or pants I wore. The peg is not always in front of me when I need to get the keys out of my hand.

The week before last, I separated my car key from my work/house keys so that a friend could borrow my car. I thought I might as well keep them separate. Friday when I got to work, I remembered why I keep them together. My work keys were still at my desk, and I couldn't get in to the building. I called the custodian, but I only had his home number, not his cell.  The Officemax delivery gal came and I signed for my packages outside the locked door. Fortunately, when I got to looking through classroom windows, I found a custodian and was able to get in. It was a lovely day, and it only took me about 10 minutes to get in, but I learned my lesson and decided I needed to hook those keys back together. But I didn't get around to it that day.

On Monday morning, I got to work and once again realized I didn't have my work key ring. Really, did I leave them at my desk again? My co-worker was there and let me in when I banged on the door. Although I checked all my drawers, looked in all the rooms in the office, under my car seats, and my trunk, no keys were found. I searched my house and my gym bag when I came home. No luck. Mystifying. I seemed to recall using the house key on Saturday night, so they must be at home. What would I do? It's kind of serious to lose the keys to a school. To put it mildly. I have worked there for 13 years and never lost them. Really, it's not like I'm some key loser.

(Okay, I did permanently lose one set of keys in my life, the most expensive one I could lose. It just happened to be the electronic key for the Dodge Durango that we bought way back in what, about 1998? And I lost it shortly after we got it and was stuck using the stupid manual key for the rest of the time we had it.  And back in 1998, I was still a mere child, barely 40. I've matured and become so much more responsible since then.)

So I was fretting about my missing keyring last night, and Will smugly said another one of his favorite phrases, "Well, you know it's wherever you left it. That's where you'll find it." So infuriating. Not helpful. I believe I responded with a cold fake smile. Not easy when it's 95 degrees out there. I tossed couch cushions, but found nothing but popcorn. I searched the house again, but no luck.

This morning I awoke a little after 5, and by the time my phone alarm went off at 6, I was nearly finished with a beautiful sunrise run. I was in a great mood and hungry for a little oatmeal for breakfast, but I opened the cupboard and remembered I had none. (No, it wasn't lost, I clearly remembered emptying the container.) I was hoping I had left some in the trailer last time we camped, so I went to where Will keeps the trailer keys, stretched as far as I could to reach a set, when what to my wondering eyes should appear......Wait, let me just go grab my keys off the countertop so I can take a picture instead of trying to describe this.

Will is a man of many talents, and a few winters ago, he was really into making these awesome little key fobs. If you were at our house, you were likely to walk away with one of these in varying sizes. I didn't ask for this, I kind of prefer to have a key ring that doesn't make a huge pocket bulge, but he graciously gave me this small version. You never know if you might get lost in the woods and need a length of rope. If you do, you can unravel this and do all kinds of useful things with it. Yay. Needless to say, all the key rings in this house have these handy things attached to them. Including the keys for the trailer.

So, as I stretched with all my might to reach the trailer keys, I see my gym card, which you can see above, attached to one of these key rings. None of the other trailer rings has a white card like this. My key ring was underneath the two trailer key rings. Oh, the joy. I danced out to the trailer. Shucks, there was no oatmeal there but who needs oatmeal when you've just escaped a possible prison sentence for losing your school keys. Just then Will returned from his morning walk with the dog and I exclaimed that I had found the keys, and indeed, they definitely were NOT where I had left them! I led him to the location of discovery, and he knew exactly what happened.

Just  before my keys disappeared, I had gone out to the trailer. He noticed the keys hanging on my peg, and thought that I had left the trailer keys in the wrong place. He did not chide me, but graciously took them and hung them where trailer keys belong. He was pleased to note that a long missing third set of keys had apparently returned. In the meantime, he did some reorganizing and put the keys in a little different place, so the top keys ended up on the bottom.

Did you get that? I put the keys on the peg, exactly where they belonged, and they got LOST!! This just goes to show once again, that I am not exaggerating or making lame excuses when I declare that when things go wrong here, it is almost never my fault. It is either Will's fault or a technological/mechanical malfunction. And he fully agrees with me now. It is a wonderful life. I just wish technological malfunctions didn't happen so often. While writing this, I had a song playing twice on the computer, and one had started about 30 seconds after the other one. I am ashamed to admit how long it took me to figure out how to get the last one found and stopped. But I did it all by myself

I really do not deserve my patient, long suffering husband. But I am very thankful for him!

And yes, my car key is now with my work keys so I can't drive to work without them.