How Not To Travel, Part 1

We have been on vacation for 10 days now, and I am confident I have gained much travelling wisdom. I love to give advice, so here is my opportunity to share a few tips I have learned along the way. Our traveling style is very flexible. We have a general idea of where we want to go and what we want to see, but reservations made too far in advance are frowned upon by the Mister. If you were locked into an itinerary and you found a place along the way that you wish to stay awhile longer, it would be a very bad thing for this household. 

Tip #1. When you do make a reservation because, after all, it's a weekend, go ahead and reserve three nights, expecting you will like the RV park based on the guidebook write-up and the name, "Archview Resort".  When you see pictures and read about the Arches, Canyonlands, and Dead Horse Point State Park, it seems like you would need several days to explore them. But  when you start and end your days in a hot RV at a barren RV park with no shade in 105 degree temperatures and intermittent high winds that cause you to scramble with awnings and shade tarps, you will wish you could up and leave without losing your money. 

Don't allow yourself to get too frustrated about having to reset  the switches when the air conditioning keeps tripping off every five minutes, making it very difficult to cool the interior of the RV.  Be thankful that the Mister lines the windows with tinfoil and is able to go out and buy insulated windshield covers to place between your shades and the windows to block the heat. Don't worry that all your RV neighbors will think you're some sort of alien-fearing freak because of all the shiny metallic coverings lining your windows.  Be very thankful when toward the end of the second day, the smart partner realizes that a simple removal of an extra electrical extension will cause the air conditioning to run much more efficiently. If the manager of the RV park won't respond to your request for a refund,  agree with your partner that you've had enough, you hate the place.  Leave anyway and tell all your friends to never camp at the Archview RV Resort. 

Tip #2:  Spend a lot of time researching RV parks/campgrounds and reading online reviews. Of course, its a big waste of your time if the Mister doesn't believe in making reservations in advance. The good ones will be full by the time you call an hour in advance or foolishly show up expecting a site, and you will likely be stuck with the dumpy park anyway.

Tip #3:  Allow yourself to become so traumatized by your three-night reservation at the heck hole that you are afraid to reserve anything for even one night, even on the day you need to arrive there.

When you start down the road and you have three great options for the night, its ok if you decide the first one is too close to your previous stay and still too hot. Keep going down the road. When you call to make sure the second option still has some openings and they tell you they only have two spots at $70 each, go ahead, gasp and sputter than anyone would charge so much for a place to park your RV. Don't even think about the possibility that if you don't grab it, there is high probability that many miles down the road and many hours later as dark approaches, you will feel like strangers with no room at the inn.  Don't give yourself permission to splurge.

Of course, if you would have splurged, quite likely you would have arrived to see that it is just one more RV park with too many big rigs lined up too close together with not enough shade. You would kick yourself for not going on down the road to unknown possibilities....I guess we'll never know.

When you are down to your last and most exciting option, (a state park in the mountains), don't bother to reserve a spot when you call at 2 pm to see if there are any openings. Believe the person on the other end of the phone when they tell you the spots are big enough for your rig. Believe them when they answer your question by assuring you there is not much of a climb from the highway.

When you get stuck in slow traffic for two hours, just relax and enjoy the scenery. Provide your partner with his favorite snacks (Vanilla Wafers) that you thoughtfully purchased earlier, and cold non-alcoholic drinks you packed in the small cooler. Keep your Good Sam Trailer Life Campground Guide on your lap and check all the towns near and beyond that state park for RV parks. When you start to get the picture that the only camping available for many miles after are Forest Service camps (with sites too small for your rig), perhaps its ok to share that information with your traveling partner. But oh well, just optimistically assume that of course there will be a spot for you at this gorgeous state park in the mountains where you are craving a stay in the cool forest surrounded by wildflowers, so different from the previous RV park from heck.

When you finally exit the freeway and the road immediately start to climb, don't panic. It's a really nice road. When you get to a small, lovely casino town such as Central City with tiny streets, sharp corners, and lots of families with small children at crosswalks, don't worry. Be thankful you are traveling with an expert RV driver whose occasional heavy sighs could be interpreted as signs of frustration,  but who is always in full control of his emotions and doesn't swear.  Enjoy the gorgeous mountain scenery after you safely pass through these two nightmarishly narrow streeted small towns (the picturesque Black Hawk is on the route also). Breathe in the pine scented air. Allow the peace of being in mountain forests with views of valleys and distant peaks to wash over you. You may need it later.

When you pull into the beautiful state park with the lovely name of Golden Gate Canyon and it is every bit as gorgeous as the pictures, allow your hopes to soar. You will be flabbergasted to find that all the big rig spots are  taken by your arrival time after 5 pm. 

When your partner pulls out and goes the wrong directions and you have to get out and skillfully help him back up and turn around, just smile. When the arrogant Forest Service guy comes by and insinuates you're an idiot to think you had a chance to get a spot at a beautiful popular state park this late in the day without a reservation, it's ok to be annoyed and tell your partner you don't like him. (The Forest Service guy, not your partner. You must never tell your partner you don't like him even if it's true right after you are turned away from the beautiful state park where he wouldn't let you make a reservation.)

When you go back to the main road and your partner suggests you look in the Good Sam book for parks at the upcoming towns, DO NOT hit him over the head with said 10 pound book you have been perusing on your lap for the past 3 hours. Forgive yourself if you snap at him a bit and suggest he look at it himself. Appreciate his calm demeanor and assurance that everything will work out as you head down the scenic Peak to Peak Byway toward Estes Park an hour's drive away, where the next RV parks are located. Lots of them. It should be no problem, after all, in Utah there was plenty of room in the RV parks. Too bad there's no cell service in these mountains to call ahead, but oh well. Everything will work out. You've only been on the road twice as long as you expected to be that day. Things will be fine.