God is Good

Yesterday I learned that I do NOT have the “breast cancer gene”. I almost jumped for joy. With a family history like mine, it’s only natural that I have wondered about the possibility for many years. I remember when I first read that there was a genetic test to show whether you had inherited a mutation that gave you a very high probability of getting breast cancer. I didn’t think it was a test I would ever do, but recent circumstances caused it to happen.

My mother discovered a lump on her breast when she was 40 years old and soon had a mastectomy on her left side. She never fully regained her health, and was diagnosed with bone cancer a few years later. She went on to her heavenly reward soon after her 45th birthday. A few years ago, my older sister had breast cancer that was caught early and removed with a lumpectomy. So it seemed quite likely to me that breast cancer could possibly be in my future. But, as I noticed on a walk the other day, as long as the sun is shining high in the sky, I can easily ignore all the dark clouds on the horizon! I didn’t spend much time worrying about cancer, but I couldn’t help but occasionally notice that dark cloud and wonder what would happen if it ever moved in.

I started having yearly mammograms at age 40, and now at the ripe old age of 52, three out of my last four mammograms have had abnormalities that necessitated further testing. I dread mammograms. I even kept "forgetting" to schedule the last one because I found it easier to ignore it than deal with it. Will this one be the time that cancer is discovered? Well, what I don’t know won’t hurt me, right? Ridiculous and immature, I know! Fortunately my husband’s strong encouragement made me schedule the appointment!

Here’s the short version of what happened since the mammogram in December…”We are scheduling a needle biopsy as soon as possible because we do not like this suspicious area!” (Needle biopsies are almost as bad as the dentist…and that’s the second time I’ve had one.)…Biopsy results are “atypical ductal hyperplasia” aka precancerous cells….Referred to a surgeon…must get the bad cells out because there is 50% chance they will turn into cancer. Must biopsy the whole thing….Wake up laughing uncontrollably after the outpatient surgery and can’t stop laughing. ”The doctor must be a comedian.” (NOT!) Good times….Results: no malignancy…Didn’t like follow up appointment with surgeon who did not take out all the bad cells because “fingers” spread out from the core. ”But don’t worry, we’ll montor and catch it early if it turns cancerous” Goodbye Dr…Referred to a breast surgeon specialist who recommended genetic testing (BRCA1 and BRCA2)…Referred to oncologist for genetic counseling. She is so happy to see someone without cancer and believes preventing is much preferable to treating. Too bad her nurse couldn’t find a vein to draw blood and finally had to take it from my hand (oops too many details).

So here we are finally in April and I finally got the great phone call yesterday that I do NOT have the genetic mutation. But the doc is still concerned about the bad cells that were left behind and recommends another consultation with the breast surgeon specialist. So it’s not over yet.

I remember my mother commenting how we don’t appreciate our good health until we lose it. Because of her, I have always been very thankful that God has blessed me with the gift of excellent health. Over the past four months as I waited for the results of each step and thought about how life would change with a cancer diagnosis, God’s peace that passes understanding was with me. Anxiety about the future cannot take hold when I look back on my past – more than 52 years of God’s love and faithfulness sustaining me. All the hard things that have happened in my life have given me a solid basis for knowing that God is in control. Those hard things so far have not included much physical suffering or illness for myself, my husband or children. That can change at any moment, but I have no doubt I can trust God and rest in His limitless, unfathomable love and kindness. I was constantly reminded of this as well because on January 9 through April 7, I was reading the Bible through in 90 days in a schedule promoted by our church. Spending that much time in God's Word is a great way to keep focused on Him!

I have also been doing some research about cancer prevention. Although I've read and heard it before, it really hit home that the most important ways to reduce my cancer risk are eating right, maintaining a healthy weight, and exercising regularly. I tend to go in spurts on all those things. I love to eat and am not very disciplined. My feet hurt and I hate walking when it’s cold or wet. I have finally quit telling myself, “It’s ok to go ahead and indulge today. I’ll do better tomorrow.” Tomorrow is here and it’s time to stop making excuses! I dare not ask God to continue to bless me with good health if I refuse to use the common sense He gave me and do my part!

It is a joy to share each day (even the rainy ones) with all my beloved friends and family in this beautiful world that God created. There is even more joy in anticipating eternal life in the presence of God in a world with no more pain or tears! God is good.