This evening we had a going away party at church for our middle school youth pastor, Jeremy Gange. He and his wife Mallory have been called to serve a two year mission term as house parents at a boy’s ranch in Southern Oregon for boys who have suffered tragedies. I was asked to share some memories and a tribute to him, and felt honored and privileged to have that opportunity. This isn’t exactly what I said, but it’s what I meant to say.
Did you ever wonder why sometimes in life, things don’t work out the way you want? And don't you love it when years later you suddenly understand? We have three boys, spaced about three years apart. I really wanted them closer together, but God is ultimately in charge of family planning. As I thought about the past nine years of having one boy in middle school each year, I understood God’s perfect plan a little better. He knew how much easier Pastor Jeremy’s life would be with only one McAnulty boy at a time in middle school youth group! And now maybe God is saying, “Great job, you got the McAnulty boys safely through middle school. Your work here is done, and it’s time for you to move on!”
Our oldest son, Craig was in seventh grade when Pastor Jeremy joined the team here. The first time he invited Craig to go on an outing with him, I was a bit taken aback. At the time, “pro wrestling” was quite popular on TV, but not with me. With my Mennonite background, I was against violent and aggressive activities, and I forbade it to appear on our TV screen. (However, I’m quite sure the boys and their father watched it when I was away.) So here is this new youth pastor, inviting my son to a pro-wrestling show at the Linn County Fairgrounds! Craig was quite excited about it, and I figured if the pastor wanted to take him, I’m not going to tell him I think it’s an inappropriate activity. Craig was quite pleased to return home with a wonderful souvenir of the evening, a battered metal folding chair that had been thrown into the audience. It leaned against the wall in his bedroom for a very long time, til I eventually sneaked it into the storage area in the eaves next to his room, where it probably still remains today. But the activities with Jeremy improved! He later went through the discipleship program with Craig and two of his friends, spending time each week to help them grow in their Christian walk.
Then the middle child, Eric started middle school. Miraculously, the only time I ever saw the slightest evidence of a little bit of exasperation from Jeremy regarding one of my angelic boys was after the first Seattle trip with Eric. They had a “three strikes you’re out” policy, and Jeremy told me he almost had to call me about Eric. I was shocked. What could have this quiet, unassuming boy of mine done?
Well, first of all, he signed his name in the guest book at the church where they were staying, and in the next couple of lines someone wrote some very bad words. Eric became the lead suspect. Apparently they didn’t know Eric well enough to understand that, not only would it never occur to him to write bad words in a church guest book, he is way too smart to put his name next to such a thing if he were to do it! He was soon eliminated as a suspect, but the really big bad thing he did was: GET SEPARATED FROM HIS ASSIGNED GROUP AT THE MARINERS GAME. Jeremy stressed to me that it had been made very clear to the kids that it was their responsibility to stay with their group and under no circumstances were they to become separated. Apparently he didn’t understand that a curious, inquisitive boy like Eric could easily become sidetracked by one of the many interesting things going on at a baseball stadium and completely forget that he was supposed to be keeping up with a group. Lucky for Eric, he hooked up with another group, but his own group leader didn’t know it and was frantic for awhile. There may have been a few other little issues as well, if so, I’ve blocked them out of my mind. After that rough start, things smoothed out and Eric and Jeremy came to really enjoy each other.
Eric loved to bring friends to youth group, and our Dodge Caravan was usually packed with kids on Wednesday nights. One night after youth group, Eric announced to me that we needed to shave a bald spot on his head before next Wednesday. Pastor Jeremy said anyone who showed up a youth group with a bald spot like his would get to go out to eat as Izzy’s with him. Eric was the only kid who showed up the next Wednesday with a bald spot. (We buzzed the rest of his head after church so that he wasn’t stuck with the bald spot!)
When Eric was in eighth grade, he learned to play the guitar. He wrote and performed a number called “I Like Cheese” at the Memorial Middle School spring talent show, and became an instant celebrity there. People still talk about that song. Jeremy heard about it, and invited Eric to play it at youth group. He created an opportunity for Eric to share his songs on Wednesday nights by scheduling occasional “Silly Songs with Eric.”
Our youngest son Nicholas graduated from middle school last year. He too loved coming to middle school youth group each week. One of the highlights for him was the rafting trip on the Deschutes River last summer. He and Jeremy were in the same raft, and they went completely under while going over a waterfall. We have a wonderful framed poster of sequential shots of this event, which hangs on the wall at the bottom of our stairway. So we can look at Jeremy every day if we want!
Jeremy knows the value of letting kids use their talents to help out at church. Both Craig and Eric played the guitar on middle school worship team, and Nick ran sound and computer equipment. Jeremy always let them know how much he appreciated their contributions, and they loved participating.
One of the duties of the middle school sound man was to put away all the equipment after youth group. One evening a few months ago I was back there as Nick was finishing up. Jeremy came back and thanked him for all his work. I was walking out behind them and I heard Nick say, “I love you, Jeremy.” Jeremy replied, “I love you too, Nick.” It literally brought tears to my eyes as I thought how blessed my son was to have that kind of relationship with a pastor. That is something you can’t miss when you are around Jeremy – he loves kids, and he shows that he loves kids. He very naturally makes them feel special. I don’t know if he still does this, but he used to have special nicknames for kids – Craig’s was “Easy Mac” and Eric’s was “Big Mac”. I think he ran out of “Mac” names by the time Nick came along!
And then there’s Mallory, Jeremy’s beautiful wife. She and Craig were good friends during high school, and we loved having her come over to our house. She became a good friend to the whole family. I was surprised when this mature girl became very involved in rather violent pillow fights in my living room, punctuated with much loud laughter. I had to put my new throw pillows off limits and designate the old ones as “fighting pillows”. I was privileged to go through the discipleship program a couple of years ago with Mallory and Lacy Fox, and I learned a lot from them.
Mallory and Jeremy are truly a match made in heaven. They both exemplify what Jesus said are the greatest commandments – Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.
On the Sunday when they announced to the congregation that they were leaving us, I was on worship team. I gathered around them as we prayed for them, and felt a few tears start to flow during the prayer. I sat down on the platform and tried to wipe them away. The more I thought about how much I love both of them, how much my kids love them and are loved in return, and the enormity of what we were losing sank in, the tears increased from a dainty leak to a major flood. I realized I was incapable of stopping them. There was no way I would be able to get up and sing in a few minutes. I had to leave the platform during the next prayer. I practically ran into Jeremy in the office. I think I might have punched him in the arm and yelled at him for not warning me that I should have worn waterproof makeup and carried tissues with me. I apologized later.
I am still sad for my family and for our church that we are losing these two people who love our kids so much. But I am so thankful for the years they have spent here, loving and teaching our kids. That investment they have made in kids and families doesn’t go away just because they do. God will continue to bless the lives they have touched, and their ministry here will bear fruit for years to come. The boy’s ranch where they are going are so fortunate that God is sending this couple there to be his hands and feet.
If I could be permitted to paraphrase Colossians 1:3-4 a bit - “We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have seen your faith in Christ Jesus and experienced the love you have for all the saints – the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven.”
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