Linda

Today we celebrated my sister Linda's 60th birthday at a restaurant in Albany. We had a big family dinner for her on Sunday with over 20 guests, but tonight eight of us took her out for dinner.  When I asked where she'd like to go for her birthday dinner, she gave me that long thinking look, so I helped her out. "Mexican or Chinese?" "Mexican," was her decisive response. She likes eating the chips and salsa. We don't necessarily like it because she double-dips, blissfully oblivious to the social faux pas. Oh well,  anyone who's picky can just order an extra salsa!

When Linda was about eight months old, she was hospitalized with a lung infection, high fever, and seizures. She was in a coma for a while and the doctors told my parents they did not expect her to live. My mother wrote of pacing and crying out to God asking him to please not take her baby, but eventually reaching a point of saying, "Thy will be done".  And God's will was for Linda to live.

 My mother also told us that Linda was very slow to learn to speak. She loved to listen to records, and would sing along with them long before she spoke. When she was five years old, she underwent some tests and my parents were told that the high fever and seizures had likely caused damage to her brain.

Back then, there was no place for children like Linda in local public schools. Linda went to the Cozad School for the Trainable Mentally Retarded (yes, that was really it's name!) about 90 miles from our home, leaving Monday morning and returning Friday afternoons. My parents were very sad to be away from her so much.

I like the picture below because it's obviously difficult to get so many children to look at the camera and smile, and Linda looks like she's really enjoying the whole thing!

Back: Linda, Galen, John
Front: LeAnn, Hope, Baby Doug, David, Mark
1964

When I was about seven years old, I remember getting in an argument with Linda and saying, "Well, I can read better than you and I'm smarter than you." I might have even told her that she was dumb. Those arrogant words made my mother more angry than I had ever seen her. I was very quickly marched into another room for a private chat. By the time we left that room, I had been made aware of some things I never forgot:

• Being "smarter" than Linda did not make me better than Linda. 
• My "intelligence" was nothing that I had earned, it was a gift from God,  and something I should use for Him. 
• It could have just as easily been me as Linda who ended up with a damaged brain.
• Kindness is much more important than smarts. 
• My mother would not tolerate any unkind words from me to Linda and did not expect to ever hear any again. (By them I was thoroughly ashamed and regretted ever saying them in the first place!)

At that time, I had a school friend whose older sister was a pretty cheerleader, and I was a bit envious.  I used to fervently ask God to please make Linda a normal big sister. Then I'd go talk to her to see if God had answered my prayer, and I always found her to be the same as ever. Eventually I gave up and accepted that she was as normal as she would ever get!

 All of my siblings had bikes, and Dad even found one that worked for Linda! She enjoyed this bike for many years. That's little tow-headed Doug in the basket!

Linda at my sister Hope's wedding in 1979.

Linda is likely to reach out and touch you when she has something important to say to you. You can also depend on her to say, "I haven't seen you for a long time" pretty much every time she greets you!

With brothers John and Galen

Linda has worked at Sunshine Industries and lived at home with my parents for many years. Finally last year our family decided the time had come to find another living situation. It was a very hard decision, and we have all been very pleasantly surprised that she quickly adapted and loves the home where she now lives with three other developmentally disabled adults. A caregiver brings her to church every Sunday and she has dinner with Mom before returning home later in the afternoon. 

Sunday morning church is very important to her, especially because she has had her very own Sunday School class at the Brownsville Mennonite Church for many years. Different ladies in the church commit to a year-long term of being her Sunday School teacher. I have the utmost respect, appreciation and thankfulness for these wonderful women, and pray that God will richly reward them! One day I asked Linda if she knew the 23rd Psalm, and was surprised that she could quote it with just a little prompting. So I started quizzing her on more Bible verses and was amazed at how many she knew! I suspect she has learned a lot in Sunday School!

Last Friday, my brother John, his wife Betsy, Mom and I went to Sunshine Industries to take some things from their Christmas Wish List that our family had donated. We got to have a tour of the place with Linda and a staff member who has worked most closely with her for the past 10 years. She said, "We're not supposed to have favorites, but how could you help it with Linda, she's just so sweet!" This dear lady even came to my dad's funeral and the dinner afterward, visiting with Linda there, and it blesses my heart to see how much she cares for Linda.

Tonight at the restaurant when the wait staff put the sombrero on Linda's head and sang Happy Birthday to her, it was just priceless to see her huge grin!

How many people are fortunate enough to have a sister who loves you unconditionally, never complains or criticizes, listens more than she talks, is always thrilled to see you and lets you know it, and never says an unkind word about anyone? I love listening to Linda make a joyful noise as we sing together in church or with a CD in the car. I often think how wonderful it will be someday when we can sing together in heaven, when her mind is made whole and she can express herself perfectly. What a day that will be! Until then, I will enjoy her company and try to learn from her example how to be a better sister and a kinder person.

Addendum 1/8/14:  The above paragraph was not meant to insinuate or imply in any way that my other two wonderful sisters who I feel very fortunate to have are lacking any of those admirable qualities.  The only thing they need to work on is being thrilled to see me and letting me know it!

Here we are, January 7, 2015!